Over the past few months, I’ve noticed something in conversations. When I’m trying to convince or persuade someone of a certain point, it works far better when I say “People think…” than “I think…”. The “I” pronoun, it seems, is very powerful - and can work against you.
Here’s why I think this is. Saying “I” allows those who you’re communicating with to immediately position you as a potential outlier. It’s much easier to discount what you think…harder to discount what a group of people think. See, when trying to convince someone of a point, the other party is often automatically defensive to your point. Any potential gap in your logic means an opportunity for that person to refute your point.
The problem is, using “I” often creates those gaps. At that point, it’s easy enough for the other party to simply refute you by saying “Well, you do it that way, but I do it this way”, resulting in a stalemate. The key to this is another behavior that I think is common: people doubt themselves first. By positioning them against a large, faceless crowd, it’s much harder for them to hold their side out of stubbornness.
Give it a try next time you’re working on persuading someone to your point. Use “they” or “people” or “many groups”…whatever collective pronoun you wish. Also, notice how much people use “I” in their daily conversations - you’ll see how it makes for a weak argument.
[I'm not advocating that you outright lie about what a group of people think or how a group acts. This argument is made on the assumption that you've come to your side of the argument through research and careful examination. Saying "Well, most people think the sky is brown" isn't going to work.]
Well, duh. Clearly most people know the sky is green.